A few days ago, my best friend sent me a blog post from a young woman named Alexandria Nicole's blog, Marrying Young..and Why You Need to Shut Your Mouth About It. It's an interesting post, and it hits home for me seeing as though I'm 22 years old and married. I'd like to share what God gave me not only in reading this post, but in dealing with the opposition me and my husband faced when we were planning to get married.
In Alexandria's post, she talks about all of the opposition people get when they decide they want to get married, especially young couples:
"You don't even know who you are at this age."
"You're too young to get married."
"You're throwing your life away!"
"You two are going to grow old and find out you no longer love each other."
"Maybe you should wait."
"You don't know what you're getting yourself into."
Oh, and the ultimate:
"How can you marry someone without living with them first?"
I got engaged when I was 20 years old, and I married my husband exactly six months ago on this day. It's not conventional for 20-something year olds to marry young.
My decision to say yes to husband at the age of 20 had nothing to do with me being naiive, but everything to do with my obedience to God.
I knew EXACTLY what I was doing.
I not only said yes to my husband in him asking for my hand in marriage, but I was said yes to God. I was saying yes to God's will and God's plan for our lives.
My husband and I dated for five years with a little break in between before we got engaged. I knew in my heart of hearts that this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I knew that he was going to be my husband.
People say things like "there's more fish in the sea" or "you need to see what else is out there before you decide to marry someone." What else was there for me to wait for? Who else was there for me to date? If I already knew what I had, why did I have to go searching for something else "just to make sure?" What's the point in years of endlessly dating people just to see if I was sure about marriage?
There was no point in it.
I knew who I wanted to be with. My decision to get married was not only because of the unconditional, Christ-like love I had and still have for my husband, but for the love, reverence, and obedience I have to Jesus.
My standpoint on it was simple: what does my heart say, and what does God say?
Let me tell you something: When you decide to follow and live your life for Christ, it doesn't matter what the rest of the world says.
Romans 12:2 says this:
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
I wasn't going to listen to or receive the oppositions others had towards our decision to get married simply because I knew that it was not coming from God.
I wasn't going to conform to the ways of the world and second guess myself and what God had already predestined.
One of the major things people were saying to us was that we needed to live together first to see if we were "compatible" or to see how we would react to each other's everyday routine. That my friend, was not an option. Sex before marriage was not an option for us, and living together before marriage would have led us down that road. Living together before marriage would have been the easiest way for us to fall into sin.
And for what? Just so I can see if I can tolerate him leaving the toilet seat up? Or if I can stand him squeezing the toothpaste out from the middle of the tube? All of that was minor things that everyone else was worried about but me.
I know that marriage isn't always a walk in the park. I'd be a fool if I walked into it thinking everything would be peachy all the time.
But, I knew that our decision to get married was pleasing to God. It was God's perfect will that my husband and I get married, and we honored God in our decision to get married. Honoring God was all that mattered to use. We put Jesus at the center of our lives both as individuals and as a couple before we were married, and that's what made my decision to say yes (and my husband even asking me) so simple.
I believe our decision to get married at such a young age is just a testament to our generation of young adults and the generation before us that love and marriage at a young age exists and is possible. It is a testament that young couples are able to exemplify in their courtship into marriage the love that Christ has towards His bride, the church. Marriage is not just something that people in their late 20's, 30's, and 40's do.
It's not settling if you know that the person you are with is the person for you. It's settling if you're unsure of the current relationship you are in and are afraid that it may be your last chance at love (did you guys see the movie "With This Ring" this Saturday with Regina Hall and Jill Scott? That's the perfect example of settling!).
Don't be afraid to be different and set apart.
How can we change and influence the world if we try to be like the world? How can I lead people to Christ if I'm living by the world's standards and not God's standards? God didn't change me, renew me, and set me free from sin just so I can be like everyone else. It is a testament of His unfailing and unmerited love and mercy. He did it so that the fruit of my life can be a testament to the rest of the world and so the same Holy Spirit that lives on the inside of me can transform the lives of those who are watching.
Don't let the opposition from the world shake your faith. This goes to anyone.
Remember what it is that God says and do what is pleasing and honorable to Him.
Great Article
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