4 Things My Husband Taught Me About Motherhood

4 things my husband taught me about motherhood

Before my husband and I even had kids, I had it figured out in my mind what kind of mother I'd be. Easy-going children, children on a set schedule every day, everything falling into place.

Funny, right? The thing about motherhood is it's sometimes unpredictable! Children are unpredictable.

Motherhood and parenting is tough, but thank God I have a supportive husband by my side to go through this journey with.

What I wasn't prepared for was how much motherhood would teach me about myself. Even more so, how my husband teaches me daily how to be a better mother and a better woman.

So, these are some of the things my husband has taught me:
It’s okay to ask for help //  I can be a little stubborn. Okay....I can be very stubborn. I'm working on it! Going into motherhood, I always thought I needed to be supermom. You know, take care of the kids, the house, my husband, all while balancing a career and entrepreneurship. Doable right? Yes. Do I need to do it all on my own? Absolutely not, and I’m starting to realize it now.

Thankfully, I have a husband who is actively involved in all areas. He engages with our children. He cleans the house. He's much more of a neat freak than I am, actually. He does most of the cooking.
Y'all. I have a man that actually wants to help. I don't always take advantage of it, but I'm learning how to. Getting it all done was an expectation I put on myself not realizing how it affected the both of us. It led me to burnout and my husband felt like he wasn't needed. Ladies, make your man feel needed. You don’t have to be superwoman by yourself! And it’s not about "putting him to work" either. We're doing life together, we're a team, and we're stronger together than we are apart. 

It’s okay if things don’t go as planned // I remember when Leilani was a baby and she refused to nap for me some days. I used to get so bent out of shape mainly cause I was burned out from trying to do it all by myself. Or times where I planned something but things didn't go as planned. Perfectionist, much? My husband taught me that it’s okay if things don’t go as planned. Learn to adjust and move. I swear you save time just adjusting and going with the flow rather than being upset over everything. 

Take time for yourself // My husband is on daddy duty on Fridays since he has Fridays off while I work. When he'd tell me about his day it would be so mind boggling when he let me know that he actually had time to do some things for himself. That's because he takes that time for himself.

I always thought that it was selfish to take that time for yourself as a mom because I always felt like I needed to be involved in every single moment of my children's lives. That mindset unfortunately came from dealing with Mom guilt. I felt terrible that I had to leave both of my children every day to go to work, so I tried to maximize all of the time I had with them, never really taking a moment for myself.

The problem with that is when you give and give and give and don't take time to recharge you're pouring from an empty cup, you have nothing left to give. Patience runs thin with everyone, you become forgetful of things because your on overdrive all day. Self-care is important. Men have no problem with implanting self -care, and us mommas should give ourselves the same grace.

I am stronger than I think // My husband has always been my number one supporter and my biggest fan. At times where I thought I wasn't a good enough mother or I wasn't going to be able to get through things because I was just so tired and burnt out, he reminded me of where my help came from. He's always rooted for me even when I didn't even believe in myself. Motherhood is emotional, fulfilling, exhausting, and exciting all at once. You can literally go through all of these emotions in just one day of motherhood. You have to be strong to deal with the ups and downs of motherhood, and my husband reminds me of how strong I actually am. And it is not because of my own strength but because of the strength of God and the grace that lies on the inside of me.

I never thought my husband would be the one to teach me so much about motherhood, but I'm glad he has. I'm grateful for his guidance, leadership, support, and for putting up for me when I turn into a crazy woman LOL.

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