Navigating through life with two little ones is quite the challenge.
Life got real when I got married almost three years ago, got a little more real when my two year old Leilani came along, then got real legit once we found out we were expecting baby #2 so soon.
Motherhood changed everything!
Being a mother is like nothing I've ever experienced. It's literally non-stop. No jokes. There's always something to do, think about, etc...
I thought because I saw how my mom raised me and my siblings, and babysitting all my cousins whenever they came to stay for the weekend. I figured, "Hey, being a mom isn't that bad!".
WRONG! Well, not totally wrong.
There are great moments. Like the moment your toddler starts using new phrases and sentences. Or when your 8 month old figures out how to stand and pull himself up. Or just hearing their giggles as they making each other laugh. Those are the moments I love and live for.
And then there's really tough moments. Like when your toddler keeps spitting out everything you put in front of them. Or your 8 month old refuses to take a nap, even though he's tired as all get out. Or both kids throw a temper tantrum at the same time. Never mind having to manage this all after you've come home from a long 9 hours at your day job.
There's no way to prepare for motherhood than actually being in it. There's so many ups and downs. It's extremely hard, and sometimes makes you wanna crawl into the closet and hide. But its also one of the most beautiful experiences ever. It's amazing how you can love your first child so much, and then God just opens up your heart, giving you room to love a whole other tiny human just as much!
It's humbling to know God has entrusted you with the gift of motherhood. Raising this child up in the way he/she should go, but it's also frustrating when things don't necessarily go as you expect. After all, babies don't come with a manual, so there's a lot of trial and error in this parenting thing.
You doubt yourself all the time because you really just don't know sometimes. But at the same time, you realize how strong you are and all that you're capable of with all that you go through trying to be the best mom and the best example to this little one.
One of the things I've struggled with the most is not having enough free time to do things I enjoy whether it be something as simple as squeezing in 30 minutes for prayer and time with the Lord, simple self care routines, reading a book or watching my favorite TV show, or even contributing to this online space.
Living more out of intention and less out of habit or your normal day to day routine has been a game changer. I'm learning to make time for me. Making time for some of the things I like to do. Making time for the things that made me Danyelle instead of just mommy.
Do I always get to do what I want? No. Sometimes I don't get any free time. Does it suck? Heck yea! But I wouldn't trade being a mom and wife for the world.
Being a full time working mama is no joke! Finding a balance and trying to stay afloat in being a wife, mom to two kids, maintaining a full time job, stepping out into entrepreneurship, and squeezing in a bit of self care (and sleep!) is quite the challenge.
This is my new normal. This is what Modern Motherhood looks like.
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